I received an email this week from a virtual bankruptcy assistant who was attempting to market her services to me. The email said:
I am experienced in the VBA industry and have been a signing agent as well for 3 years…Always punctually, and haven’t had one deficiency notice yet!
PROBLEM NO. 1
The sentence structure demonstrates very poor English. In the first sentence this virtual assistant is really trying to say:
I have 3 years of experience in the real estate industry as a notary signing agent, including experience as a virtual bankruptcy assistant.
PROBLEM NO. 2
Even if I were interested in hiring a VBA, why would I care that this lady worked as a notary signing agent? Unless this person can show me the relative nature of why being a notary signing agent is important in the VBA industry, she should have left off her reference of notary experience.
PROBLEM NO. 3
The email begins with no introduction. I have no idea why this person is contacting me. Instead, she immediately starts the email with a sentence that talks about her. She does nothing to draw the potential customer (me) into reading the rest of the email. This is one of the major mistakes people make when they are beginning to market their businesses. They spend time telling their customers how wonderful their services are and how much knowledge they have. The customer really does not care. They only want to know what you are going to do for them and what the bottom line is. Period.
This person should have started her email with an introduction like:
I found your website on the internet and believe the services my company provides will be beneficial to you. The following are the benefits I can provide to your company ….. (List the benefits.)
PROBLEM NO. 4
The sentence: “Always punctually, and haven’t had one deficiency notice yet!” makes this person appear to be someone who “cuts corners” due to her demonstration of this behavior by not forming a correct sentence. The lady who sent this email should have said:
I am always punctual and my high level of quality is second to none for companies like yours.
PROBLEM NO. 5
I am not hiring virtual bankruptcy assistants. I provide the training tools to other virtual assistants. Therefore, because the lady told me that she had “visited my website”, it is evident she is lying. If she would have visited my website, she would have quickly understood that we do not hire virtual bankruptcy assistants.
SUMMARY
Below are some tips to help you construct better marketing communications:
1. Train your brain to be on the “outside looking in” instead of the other way around. Look at everything from the customer’s perspective when writing marketing materials.
2. NEVER send an email until you have read it at least once and ran a spell check. I cannot stress the importance of this simple task. However, many people would rather concentrate on “quantity” (answering more emails) rather than “quality” (answering less emails); which can be detrimental for any size business.
Important: If you want to cut corners to save time, do it somewhere else in your business. Don’t cut corners in your email communication.
3. Keep in mind that every word you type (either in an email or post on a bulletin board) becomes PERMANENT. There are dedicated websites that do nothing but store archives of websites. These websites can be accessed and the words you typed in 2007 may still be read in 2027. Watch what you say. The unprofessional words you use today could come back and haunt you 20, 30 or more years into the future. Some could even result in a large loss of business.
4. Watch your daily emails for well-written marketing communications. We all receive too much junk mail. But instead of deleting it before reading it, scan through and see if you find any marketing communications that will give you some ideas to write your own. When you discover an email that does a good job of selling a product, keep it in an IDEAS folder. Then, the next time you need to develop a marketing piece, go through your IDEAS folder and customize the wording to fit your particular product or service.
AUTHOR BIO:
Victoria Ring is a Certified Paralegal and Bankruptcy Specialist and was the first paralegal to develop the Virtual Bankruptcy Assistant field in 1999. She has also developed an entire line of training products and holds several seminars per year in drafting bankruptcy petitions. Her training materials have been approved by NALS, NFPA and the Supreme Court of Ohio for CLE credits. Additionally, Victoria Ring provides speaking and in-house training services for bankruptcy law firms. Visit her website at http://www.713training.com
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